Back To Face Solitude
Wow! Time flies! It's the middle of March already! Seems like not long ago that I wrote my last blog!
Well, the past few week have been crazy. It was mostly filled with work for a marketing project and helping my best friend with preparations for a new store opening. Well his big day is tomorrow, and I'll be there to help be a photographer. As for the project, it was completed and was presented earlier tonight. So seems like 1 more small thing to do and I'll be back to my boring old life again. But I think after the past week, especially tonight, the thing I feel most is loiness.
Of the five members (including myself) that are in the marketing project group, I foudn out that I was the only one that's single. Well this normally wouldn't bother me. But tonight in particular, I have a feeling like after going through the miseries of sleepless nights and frustrations, I have no one to talk to. My group members can (and may) turn to their bf/gf to talk with, even just to think back to what the past few days had been like (even though they still saw their bf/gf during the project's preparation period). But I think that it's good to have someone to turn to just to talk to at the very least. But for me, it feels like I've gone home to be alone. No one cares if I've been super busy the past few days... no one missed you... (heck.. they don't even know you were gone!) and no one here to really cheer you up.
Yes, many would say I have friends. I do. I am very happy that I have lots of friends. But I don't know if it's my lousy luck tonight, or what... they're all either busy... or just don't want to talk. It's at times like these that I wonder... why do I always make myself available to my friends... when none of them seem to ever have much time for me when I needed someone to talk to? I know I don't make friends or help friends just so I can get something in return. But I can't help thinking this at times like these, especially when these are the people that usually comes looking for me when they want someone to talk to. To my memory, I don't think I turned them down for anything. I usually do purposely make the time for them, even when I'm doing some work. So why can't they do it for me? Am I asking for too much? Or is this those one in a while thing where I've focused on the few times I've been neglected and lost sight on the times when they did care? I don' tknow. But I think tonight, I will really try talking to God, just like what I'm doing here righ tnow... saying what's on my mind.
For the marketing project, we decided to make our own commercial for our product. During the a late night filming (like filming in a parking lot after 2 am!), I had gone through arguemments and bitter cold suffering. All this time, I had no one to turn to to complain. One of the member even had her bf with her throughout our filming. To my knowledge, last night, before we met again at around 12 am, the other members had spent time with his/her gf/bf. For me, I had to spend it in my friend's store helping him enter data into a computer. 2 other people were there, but they were bf-gf too. It's like the girl is helping her bf, no matter how much she didn't want to do it. But again, for me... I couldn't turn to anyone.
But I must say, I didn't feel this way for the entire few days. I was too busy to even think of these, despite the fact that I saw their bfs/gfs. All of their other halfs were there to be with them while they pressed on in their work. For me, i often have to sit here alone in my room with no one to talk to (in person or on the computer) and just tell myself to work. Now that all that is over, I am reliefed that it is, but want to get back to "civilization" and talk with friends. But all I found were people telling me they're busy, or ignorin gme completely.
Can someone tell me if I'm being to nice to people? Is me being nice making me have the wrong expectation from my friends?
Well, the past few week have been crazy. It was mostly filled with work for a marketing project and helping my best friend with preparations for a new store opening. Well his big day is tomorrow, and I'll be there to help be a photographer. As for the project, it was completed and was presented earlier tonight. So seems like 1 more small thing to do and I'll be back to my boring old life again. But I think after the past week, especially tonight, the thing I feel most is loiness.
Of the five members (including myself) that are in the marketing project group, I foudn out that I was the only one that's single. Well this normally wouldn't bother me. But tonight in particular, I have a feeling like after going through the miseries of sleepless nights and frustrations, I have no one to talk to. My group members can (and may) turn to their bf/gf to talk with, even just to think back to what the past few days had been like (even though they still saw their bf/gf during the project's preparation period). But I think that it's good to have someone to turn to just to talk to at the very least. But for me, it feels like I've gone home to be alone. No one cares if I've been super busy the past few days... no one missed you... (heck.. they don't even know you were gone!) and no one here to really cheer you up.
Yes, many would say I have friends. I do. I am very happy that I have lots of friends. But I don't know if it's my lousy luck tonight, or what... they're all either busy... or just don't want to talk. It's at times like these that I wonder... why do I always make myself available to my friends... when none of them seem to ever have much time for me when I needed someone to talk to? I know I don't make friends or help friends just so I can get something in return. But I can't help thinking this at times like these, especially when these are the people that usually comes looking for me when they want someone to talk to. To my memory, I don't think I turned them down for anything. I usually do purposely make the time for them, even when I'm doing some work. So why can't they do it for me? Am I asking for too much? Or is this those one in a while thing where I've focused on the few times I've been neglected and lost sight on the times when they did care? I don' tknow. But I think tonight, I will really try talking to God, just like what I'm doing here righ tnow... saying what's on my mind.
For the marketing project, we decided to make our own commercial for our product. During the a late night filming (like filming in a parking lot after 2 am!), I had gone through arguemments and bitter cold suffering. All this time, I had no one to turn to to complain. One of the member even had her bf with her throughout our filming. To my knowledge, last night, before we met again at around 12 am, the other members had spent time with his/her gf/bf. For me, I had to spend it in my friend's store helping him enter data into a computer. 2 other people were there, but they were bf-gf too. It's like the girl is helping her bf, no matter how much she didn't want to do it. But again, for me... I couldn't turn to anyone.
But I must say, I didn't feel this way for the entire few days. I was too busy to even think of these, despite the fact that I saw their bfs/gfs. All of their other halfs were there to be with them while they pressed on in their work. For me, i often have to sit here alone in my room with no one to talk to (in person or on the computer) and just tell myself to work. Now that all that is over, I am reliefed that it is, but want to get back to "civilization" and talk with friends. But all I found were people telling me they're busy, or ignorin gme completely.
Can someone tell me if I'm being to nice to people? Is me being nice making me have the wrong expectation from my friends?
posted by Admiral at
11:16 PM
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