Wow.. it's been over a month since my last blog. Thx Ben for actually reading it all and even leaving that great comment! =)
So, since it has been over a month, you can expect a lot of stuff for me to update. So, just to warn you, it'll be long and I'll be jumping around from topics to topics. (Hey, if it was organized, it'd be a website, not a blog! =P)
Well, let's start from where I had left off last time. I was talking about how difficult it was to launch my "ship". Well for those of you who don't know, that "ship" is my company's website. Well, the ship has been officially launched. (Yeah! *clap* *clap* *clap*) I'm happy to say, pretty much everyone that have seen it liked the design. I'm so happy about this... why? This is because I never was the creative arts type of person, despite the fact I like art. Which is why the current design you see is actually the fourth design! Now that's done, I can focus on the more annoying details... my latest one is planning the workings of the company, contracts, and cold-calling! *urk!* =( But on the bright-side of all this, I've found that I truly do have a God given talent for being innovative in business. Combining some of the key concepts about business I've learned, I've been able to design services and featurs that authors of business books (famous ones I'm talking about) say are the things companies SHOULD do. Hee Hee, guess what.. I've already have something in the plans that they suggested. Isn't that great! Now if only I can get those things online quickly.
So enough with the professional side of my life... let's talk more about the "theory of life" stuff that I usually think about. (Yea, I have too much time on my hand. =P) During this past month, I've found that I have been helping a lot of friends through talking and mostly listening to their problems. Things range from relationships to just facing life in general. Well first of all, I'm very happy that they've chosen to talk to me. It makes me feel honoured to be chosen amongst the many people they know to share and just sort of discuss their problems. In each of these instances, I remind myself to be a listener and not a talkiner, and most importantly, not a commentor. But for some reason, sometimes it's hard to do. Sometimes i fail. But hey, I'm willing to learn! =)
This sort of leads me to something I really want to record down here. It is my belief that for each of us,
the way we think, act, and perceive the world around us are formed by experiences in our life. This would seem very obvious to people. But if you think about it, many people forget or have neglected this. (Including myself.) But now, having reminded myself of this, and to keep it on my mind, I find that I'm more eager to experience more of this world. However, there are still fears about experiencing the lost of some people whom I love and care.
Experiences is not only a way for us to discover why we have become whom we are, but it's also an avenue for God to communicate with us. Because when we look at experiences, it's usually an after thought kind of thing, so it's one way. When we look back upon experiences, if we try to look at common themes or links between experiences, we may sometimes find what God wants to say to us. Of course, noticing these links would require prayers to ask God for help. These take time and an open mind. Jumping to conclusions would only lead to the wrong conclusions. However the opposite extreme is also not good. Over analyzing can only mean you never find an answer to move on. The best thing to do is to hold on to what you've found and believe in it until you find signs or messages that proves otherwise. Maybe it's because experience is a way to look back on what God wanted to say or pass on to us, I believe that experience is also the greatest teacher in life. Interestingly, this teacher also has "real-life examples"... ones from your life! =D Just as experiences help shape who we are, it has also made the bible a very interesting book. The reason for this is because I believe that as many people know, the bible is a book of teachings. And to non-believers and believers alike... it's a book of history that leaves room for interpretations. As a believer, I know that if reading the words at face value, everyone would get the same message. However, if you try to "read between the lines" (finding the meanings or messages behind the words), what you come up with may be very different from what I came up with. Why? Same reason as before... our experiences. Cause it helped shaped how we perceive things. So the bible is many books in one. =)
This idea relates to my experience in the professional life. I believe one learn the most from starting and running their own company. This is because in the process, you are forced by what you'fe set ou to do (succeed on your own) to learn many things that would take you to where you want to be in life. A book on entrepreneurship had a very interesting line... the main meaning of it was "if you are going to make mistakes, make them soon and make them quickly..." This i think is a very valuable thing to keep in mind. Maybe in remembering this, we can really "laugh-off" our mistakes or look at them with a different perspective. So if I am to try starting and running a business now, the best time to do it is when no one depends on my income to survive. (Including myself. =P) If things don't work out, i can always go get a job.
Interestingly though, I've found myself to be more mature. The reason is, that I've finally saw how I've grown out of a child's nature to compete. If you think about it, sometimes people compete for the stupidest thing, just like kids. Sometimes, it's not the topic that drives us to compete to be the one that wins, but sometimes it's the way the other party expressed it that makes us feel like the loser in this comparison that drives us to argue and later compete to win. Well i won't say what stupid thing it was that I got lured into competing... but I have now gotten myself out of it... and will now understand and remember the phrase "pick your fight". If winning the competition serves no real purpose or has no real reward, then let the other guy be stupid and win.... hey, at least it makes him/her happy! And as for you, you've saved your own resources from having to argue uselessly with them. Use the time and go home and pray that God will show him/her how stupid he/she is. =P
During this past month, I've actually seen how annoying it may be to talk to someone who thinks they know everything, so they cut-in when you talk to them... only to find out later that they were wrong when corrected. Luckily, I was the 3rd person, looking from the side, and not invovled in the conversation. But even I was annoyed to the point that I just ignored what was said by the one "assuming" stuff. I've believe that such a behaviour is linked with an extreme level of lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. The person assuming stuff are trying to "prove" themselves to be "the best". Kinda links with the things mentioned above eh? Well the 2 are inter-related. Cause and Effect.
Remembering to "pick your fight" or in this case "pick your competitions" is also very helpful in other ways. Being able to choose what to spend time on arguing and what not to, may eventually lead to someone living a life that is less affected or less influenced by their peers. This is because in the end, the reason why we care about how other sees us, is sometimes caused by the evaluation of who's better and who's worst. In these cases, there may not be any absolute "winner" or "loser". But the underlying factor is still the case of wanting to "appear" as the winner of some competition. Anyways... in the end, it may less to a much more care-free life and therefore less stress. But this is of course easier said than done! =P
In order to learn something, many of us don't learn from what people tell us, believe it or not. (I'm talking about in adult life) Instead, we learn by listening then evaluating in our head how accurate or plausible what we were told is. The reference base for our evaluation is - our experience! (Surprise! =P) In this case, experience not only acts as our benchmark for measuring, but also a re-enforcement for supporting or disproving what we heard. Therefore, to tie in the last paragraph with this... for us to learn about picking our competitions, we must allow ourselves to learn by experience. And also, it would also be important for us to remember that when "teaching" people stuff, give them time to absorb and "experience" what they've been taught. Only then will they truly learn the key to the lesson. It's like that saying about teaching a man to fish or giving him a fish. If you give him a fish (telling him stuff) he'd starve the next time. (he hasn't learned a thing to apply in the future.) If you teach him to fish (let him absorb and think back on his past experience... or let him have future experience), then he won't starve. (Because he would by then remember what was learned.)
In this past month, I've been doing something else while going out with my friends. I've been playing a role of (self-proclaimed) fashion consultant. My specialty (haha) is choosing for girls. Well this is usual you might say... guys choose clothes for girls (cause they are the ones that "enjoys" them... and vice versa). But the twist here is, I choose them based on my "perceived" understanding of what sort of styles they like and what kind of personality they are. It's really fun! I've been doing it for years without myself knowing it. And what's even better is that I've been right! (At least they all seemed to like the clothes that I've chosen.. there were a few misses.. but hey, I never said I was perfect at this! =P) But there are still a lot of areas that I have to learn in terms of this. Because to some extent, I'm not very up-to-date with fashion trends. Also, my focus had mostly been business-casual clothes. I am still learning about casual styles. And I still don't know how to appreciate shoes! (Especially girls' shoes! So I can't comment on them. Haha!)
Looking at the calandar, July 30th is fast approaching... and that means it's almost 1 year since my own 9/11 occurred. It's funny how at the half-way point few months ago, i felt dizzy when I saw her. But now, I feel that she is like a crater that left a deep mark, but I've also moved on to other areas... from time-to-time, I'd look back upon the experience, because as I had mentioned, every experience holds information and ideas that may reveal much about ourselves. However, the feeling has become much lighter than before. Interestingly, I'm kinda sad to see it go. But I know it's something that must be done. In final words though, I must say, I have the "gut feeling" that this is not the end. (But hey, sometimes gut feelings are wrong... we'll see.) I do believe that there may be a "part-2" to this... until then....
Hm... it's been quite a lot of paragraphs writen so far... well let this be part 1... I'll write more when I gather my thoughts more....
